another gain August 30, 2007

I shouldn’t be disappointed, because I did go WAY over my extra points for the week. With BBQ ribs fests, baseball games, etc., I SUCKED this week.

As I have said 1,000 times before, when I do it right and try to limit my extra weekly points as much as possible and drink my water, eat my fruits and veggies, etc., I lose weight.

This weekend is tough. Wedding tomorrow night, flea market Saturday, big party on Sunday, I need to stop screwing around!

I gained 1 lb. I’m back to 16.8 lbs. I know this is still ok, because I’ve lost weight since starting, but I also have done nothing for my own cause in 6 weeks!

ugh.

My goal back in June to accomplish by Labor Day weekend was to hit my 10%. Unless I can lose 4 lbs today and tomorrow, uh, it’s not happenin’!

Oh another note. I did buy a plethora of those Fruities things at WW last night. Maybe those can be my little sugar/snacky fix.

undeserving loss August 23, 2007

Not sure how, but I lost 1.4 lbs.

It’s 17.8 total.

I am .4 less than I was back in mid-July. But that’s okay, because I haven’t deserved to lose weight since then.

Now, I MUST get back on that horse. Dammit.

I will take longer than others August 22, 2007

Tonight is another meeting. I am in the state of mind right now that I am just pissed at myself.

 I made a goal for myself back in May that I would be at my 10% loss by August 31 – the date of a friend’s wedding. That is 10 days away and I’m pretty sure I’m 5 lbs shy of it.

This week was another bad week where I went over my weekly points and did not hold myself to the willpower I had in the beginning. I kept telling myself that I was doing so well, so I could enjoy myself a little.

Well, I lost 17.4 lbs in like, the first 6 or 7 weeks, then I just came to a stand still. Not like hitting a plateau where I am doing everything right but not losing weight. I hit a plateau because I haven’t been doing everything right, and I still haven’t exercised. And now, I’m just getting frustrated with myself about the choices I’ve made.

Tonight, I will most likely have stayed the same. At least, I hope I didn’t gain.

And I know that whole lecture last week about how the people that are the “go getters” that do everything so strict and gung ho every second from the beginning will be more successful quicker than some others who stray from the path on occasion. But so long as you end up back on the path and keep chugging away, you will meet your goal too!

It just may not be as quickly as some others.

I am getting tired of my side-track-i-ness and need to stop making excuses. I want to lost another 30 lbs and I need to stop futzing around.

I will go tonight and accept the consequences, but for the love of God, I need to get my ass in gear and start being more serious again.

how to make good choices… August 20, 2007

..when there are none.

This should be more in the form of a question: How the hell do I make good decisions when I have limited options???

 We had the Healing Hearts motorcycle poker run this weekend. I was a volunteer, not a rider. But I am still working on Lois on the motorcycle thing, so maybe I can participate next year!

After the run (and I only had one iced coffee – 1 point and some waters while I was sitting at my spot), I headed to the finish line for food.

My options were:

Hotdogs w/ kraut

cheeseburgers

bagels

baked ziti

cupcakes

macaroni salad

That’s it. So, what did I have?

Two hotdogs with kraut and 1 hamburger. Ok, and I had one cupcake.

After a not-too-bad dinner last night, I had expended 17 of my EXTRA weekly points in one day.

sigh.

it’s funny… August 16, 2007

how weeks where I don’t go to meetings and have a day or two of total non-WW tracking, that I don’t lose weight.

 I’m still here. I haven’t fallen off the face of the earth.

I went to a meeting last night – the first meeting I feel like I’ve really been to in forever.

I did lose weight in the last week = .2 lbs. I guess I shouldn’t be disappointed.

This weekend, at PS’s house, I basically said Fuck IT! and had steak, kielbasa, the best chocolate chip cookies ever, etc. I knew I was being very, very bad and I was willing to accept the consequences.

 So here we are! Accepting the consequences.

I’ve been doing this for over 12 weeks and I’ve lost 16.4 lbs. Well, I lost 17.4 and gained 1 lb back.  It’s definitely great that I’ve lost 16.4 lbs, but I was hoping to be down 25 by now.

Last night we talked about the value of meetings, and I totally think going to them makes a big difference to me.

Why?

1. It gives me boundaries. Before WW, if I had a “bad night” and had a burger and nachos, I then had that “oh well, I’m off my diet. Might as well keep being bad FOREVER” type mentality. Having weekly meetings gives me a clean slate to start over again.

2. Motivation. If I just weigh in, all I have to think about is what I lost or gained. Staying for the meetings, it makes me leave there feeling like “I can do this this week!”

3. Motivation from others. Listening to everyone else’s ideas, weight losses or even weight gains make me feel better and supported.

It’s funny because I was so against doing WW and tracking points and going to meetings and clapping for people. Yet, here I am, knowing that what doesn’t work for me is missing meetings and having blow off days here and there!

So, I need to stick to what does work.

And, for the love of God, I need to start exercising my lazy ass!

a GAIN! August 9, 2007

I went to get weighed in last night but didn’t stay for the meeting since we were having company.

I reminded myself how incredibly bad I was with food on vacation, that it’s been 3 weeks since my last weigh in and I shouldn’t be upset with the result, how I have not worked out at all and how I was at my absolutely bloatiest day of the month.

I still didn’t want to hear that I GAINED weight!

+1.2 lbs. So, I’ve only lost 16.2 overall.

Sigh.

At least I feel better in knowing that I wasn’t trying to lose weight during the last 3 weeks only to gain it. I just hate taking steps backwards.

Onward.

I want to lose at least another 25-30 lbs. I am staying focused here.

Back to the strict WW again. Here we go.

week…I don’t know…week 11?? August 7, 2007

As I stated before, I took a WW vacation during my birthday and Provincetown trip.

Now, it’s back to my regularly scheduled meetings as of tomorrow night. I know I have lost nothing.

And, to top it all off – tomorrow will be another “most bloated day of the month.” The only good news on this is that next Wed, if I’m a good WW girl, I should definitely have a decent change.

I need to be a really diligent, back on the wagon girl for at least another 20 lbs.

a decidedly bad week or two August 2, 2007

With my birthday and 2 work parties and our trip to Provincetown, I made a decision to enjoy myself and not turn much down in the way of food for about 10 days.

I know it’s not the “Weight Watchers” way to do that, but I knew that I would go back on and be a really good girl when I returned from vacation, and I’m back to writing everything down.

I missed 2 meetings (7/25 and 8/1) and will be back at the 8/8 meeting facing the scale.

I don’t regret anything. Really, I don’t. I know I could have made more limited decisions, but I didn’t want to.

I looked at the pictures from our trip and it really hit me again that no matter the progress I have made, I still have a ways to go before I think I can feel accomplished in this weight loss journey.

So, I think I gained 2 lbs in the last 2 weeks. I don’t consider my scale at home to be a basis for anything, I’ll wait until I get the official reading from the WW scale next week.

In the meantime, it’s back to the grind. I’m thinking we have about 32 lbs more to go. Probably about 5 shy of my 10%.